Alright, Brunkamaniacs, I present to you the debut of a new YouTube series I’ve launched where I try to track down strange lost media!
In this pilot episode, I try to raise attention to a weird Subway commercial from my youth. Within the following video, I discuss the background of the commercial, and then reenact it with LEGO bobble puppets — based entirely off my own memory!
Back in the mid-1990s, our local TV stations would broadcast a bizarre and confusing commercial advertisement for the sandwich franchise Subway. This commercial used low-quality video effects and laughable amateur actors, despite Subway being a ubiquitous national food franchise. The absurdity of this strange commercial would often be the subject of ridicule and mockery among my friends and family.
Sadly, this unusual commercial has been lost to time, and I can find no record of it ever existing. However, with my photographic memory I’ve actually reenacted the synopsis of this commercial with the use of LEGO puppets and stop-motion animation!
Because of how weird and cheap the lost commercial was, it’s my logical deduction that it wasn’t a nationally-broadcasted commercial, but rather a local ad for an independent Subway franchise in our area (central Pennsylvania). With that said, I’ve found no record of it online, since it clearly didn’t have the national attention of regular Subway commercials.
The commercial was set in a cheap mountainous scenery with two men: a fat, bald man and a wise sage. The bald man asked the sage to help him find the truth, and that he “hungers for perfection.” The sage answered, “Perfection can be yours! Take your hunger to. . . SUBWAY SUBS!!”
“Oh great seer!”
Suddenly the camera did an awkward closeup to the bald man’s face, who asked, “Subway subs!?”
The next segment was a closeup of various Subway sandwiches with a voice over of how the sandwiches are the path to truth and perfection. Finally, the money shot of the commercial: the bald man gets excited, shouts “SUBWAY!!”, takes a huge bite of the sandwich and says, “MMMMMMMM!!!” with a gleeful look on his face with large eyes.
Please share this video so that we can get more attention and maybe locate the actual footage. Perhaps someone with VHS tapes of old local commercials might have this lost commercial on it. Maybe an employee of Subway might be able to dig into their company’s archives and explain the history behind this commercial. Or maybe even a cast/crew member of the commercial’s production team could stumble upon this YouTube video and shed some light on this mystery once and for all!